Hit me with your best shot-Pat Benatar With ylrics

Soooo, I totally had to post this video tonight. Its awesome! Everytime I hear this song, I feel...empowered. haha.
It makes me feel like I can do anything and that nothing can get me down.
I can get so frustrated when things don't go my way sometimes and I don't always understand people. I almost feel like I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Other times I just wanna be like, "ok, bring your best and lets see what happens". I would say tonight is one of those "I will take you on" nights. What I'm referring to specifically aside from many other things is dating. I get sooo tired of the game. I dont' want to second guess. I don't want to compete. And I definately don't want to be the last resort. If you like me, well....you like me. So, do something about it. If not, thats totally fine with me. Just don't play the game and expect me to be happy and willing to play along...believe me, it won't happen. I can open up and let you in, but if you aren't sure...don't expect me to just throw my heart out there to get trampled on. U know? Why do things have to be so complicated and a pain in my glutes? haha. I've decided I'm just going to focus on me. Why not, right? Life is way to short not to enjoy it and if I'm not dating...well, that just means I have more opportunity to do others things I've always wanted to do. Bring it on...I say Carpe Diem...and "Hit me with your BEST shot." LOL... :)

somedays I really think things would have been better the way they used to be...and then, I realize that life...even though it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to, ends up turning out the way i needed it to

"Somedays I really think things would have been better the way they used to be...and then, I realize that life...even though it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to, ends up turning out the way i needed it to.

Man, life can really throw you some curve balls can't it? I'm at a point in my life where I really need to think about where I'm going and what I'm doing and then DO it. This topic has been something thats constantly on my mind..especially since day one. Its just that everytime I try to make something happen, it doesn't work out and I'm back to the drawing board. Sometimes I feel like I just run into wall after wall after wall. Sometimes I've wanted to give up and other times I've been soo determined.

I've always been a more independant individual than anything else. I get so determined that my life is going to happen a certain way and then when it doesn't it just hits me hard. When I look back and reflect on things, I come to realize that its a darn good thing certain things happened the way they did. I realize that even though it wasn't what I wanted, it was definately what I needed. Its a vicious cycle...haha. You would think that I'd just learn to let go and let God take the lead. One day I will get it.

I've realized I get the most frustrated when things seem to be going smoothly and when I'm so focused on other things that all of a sudden something happens in the middle and totally "rocks the boat". I then try to roll with that new thing and it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to and then I just get more frustrated and confused and think that things were better the way they were before. haha...

I have a hard time being patient with things...not a quality that I fully possess yet. I suppose thats why this "vicious cycle" keeps happening. lol. I just wish I understood why certain things happen the way they do and why they happen. Those are probably answers I won't receive until I see God face to face. haha. But, I know that theres a reason for everything and I just have to keep an open mind and realize who really is in control and just understand that His plan is perfect. One day, I will have all the answers and its gonna be awesome!!!

A few thoughts...

Life...that one word has a HUGE meaning to it. Its funny how things just seem to happen at random. Every day is a new beginning and I find that I'm always surprised by one thing or another. A few weeks ago I was pleasantly surprised to make a new friend. I had no idea how much of an impact that this individual would have on my life. But, even though its been a few weeks I can already say that I'm so blessed and truly grateful for this random meeting. We have become very close friends and I have had ample opportunity to re-evaluate who I am and the things I desire most in this life because of his influence. We've had long discussions about a lot of things...dating, friendships, self-esteem, service...just to name a few.
One thing I can say is that through all of our different discussions I have come to know even more than before who I am and what I want from life. I have my flaws but I am learning to embrace them and share them with others. Why should we be afraid of what we have to offer to the world (good and bad)? We are each unique individuals with such special talents and abilities and quirks. Those things are what make this world a wonderful place to live in and be a part of. Each of us has a plan and a purpose. We each deserve a chance to be heard, seen and loved. No one individual is better than the other or less than the other. I wish we all could recognize that about ourselves and others.
With all the imperfection that we are surrounded by, the potential we carry outweighs that by far. If we can learn to place our full trust in our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ, we can one day become perfect and reach our full potential with their help. We can't do it alone. It takes practice and a willingness to fail and get hurt. But, we can't be afraid...we can't look back and let our failures or our heartaches or misdeeds shape our future. Everyday is a NEW beginning. Its exciting and wonderful and full of surprises! We can't compare ourselves to others or judge others. When we do that we lose sight of whats most important. God loves us completely. Each of us is a divine son or daughter of Him. We should love another as He loves us. None of us needs one more person judging or criticizing or tearing us down. What we all need is to be uplifted and loved and recognized as divine. As we do that our confidence will build in HIM and ourselves and we will no longer be afraid. I don't know if any of this is making sense, but I just have a million thoughts and I just think that we each have so much to offer that we can't let our circumstances or fear hold us back from being able to do those GREAT things we are capable of doing. I know that as we place our trust in HIM anything is possible!

Another post...finally! haha

Ohhh boy, this whole posting more often than not on my blog isn't quite working out as planned. haha. Life is soooo good right now, I mean REALLY good! I've not ever been this happy in a very long time. What can I say....God has been good to me! My life is crazy busy at this point, but I think thats why I'm just smiling all the time. I work two jobs and I have 2 church callings and just grown up responsibilities....theres not enough time in the day to get everything done and yet, it doesn't bother me one bit. I think a large part of it is due to the fact that I absolutely love, Love, LOVE my 2nd job....I work at a gym and I get to work-out for free after my shifts. How cool is that? Besides, I'm doing the things I need to and should be doing and that makes such a big difference in my days. I have some of the most AMAZING friends in theee world and well, everything just seems to be falling into place. Its hard to explain but theres just something different in the air thats leading me to believe really good things lay just ahead. Maybe I'll have my one BIG dream come true...(no, I can't tell you! haha, what fun would that be? :p) But, whatever it is...I plan on enjoying every minute of this happy goodness that's been making life so enjoyable.
I read a friends blog and she was talking about her birthday and how its difficult being 29 and not married. I'm not 29 yet, but I can totally relate to her. You just never know how life is going to turn out for you. Some days it gets pretty difficult because the one thing you want you haven't had the opportunity to experience yet and its just a huge blow to your self-esteem, confidence and other things. You start questioning everything. But, then after you've had your time to think things through you begin to realize the blessings you've been given with the way your life has turned out thus far. Things start to get easier and life goes on. During those tough times I can only wish I had a fairy God-mother that could wave her magic wand and make things all better. However, I've realized that I have something far more substantial and real. Our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the one that can and will make it better. We may not have things turn out the way we want but in the end we look back and realize that  He's been the one carrying the majority of our hardships for us. He is so incredible and amazing and I love Him so much!
I think thats really the main reason I'm sooo happy. I've invited Him into my life and because of that I've been able to walk with confidence and a BIG smile on my face. :) I don't know if this is making any sense....I'm probably rambling...I tend to do that..haha, but I just don't know how to express the changes that have been occuring lately. Life is awesome and I know that whatever comes next...it's going to be fantastic!!!

Random Thoughts....

My thoughts are going a million miles a minute. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but I've just got to get it out. So, I went out last night with a friend to an ice skating/dance party put on for a bunch of singles. It was actually pretty fun. We got to talking about tons of stuff on the way there. One of the things we conversed about was how different people are.
I expressed some of my insecurities (we all have them) and she said something that really caused me to respect her sooo much more. She basically said we are who we are and asked why she should let others give or take away her happiness? Now, mind you...this is NOT the first time I have heard something similar about not letting others determine how I act or who I am. This meant a lot more to me because of who she is. She is not someone who the world considers 'popular', 'normal', 'skinny', etc.... So, she has struggled a lot with self-esteem and yet she is FEARLESS and always happy! She told me that she just does her thing and focuses on what she wants and what makes her love and enjoy life and doesn't let anything get in her way. It was another one of those 'a-ha!' moments.
So, we got to the venue and skated for a while...met a few people and then she was the first of us to go onto the dance floor and SHINE! It took me a while to work up the courage to go out and dance. My mind started racing and filled with 'oh those people can dance...who i am to go and dance, i don't have any moves', and 'what if they judge me', just tons of things to try and stop me from having fun. Well, sadly it took me watching my friend have the time of her life dancing by herself doing her own thing for me to realize all those things I was thinking doesn't really matter. So, I went out of my comfort zone and started jamming to the music. Once I got out there I realized not everyone knew everyone and they were just trying to have fun. I ended up meeting some really cool people and to think if I had not gone what I would have missed out on. I'm so grateful for my friend and the courage she has to SHINE even if others don't think she is 'normal'....she is awesome and an incredible example to all. If only more people could be just like her, we'd all be in a better place.

Andy Grammer - Keep Your Head Up

A bitter sweet day...

Wow....I have so much to say and am not really sure how to say it. Tonight I found out that a friend of mine (David Whitney) passed away in a plane crash down in Payson. I knew him from High School and Seminary and he and his father were my dad's hometeachers back home in Oregon. When I heard he died and then saw the news story on tv, my heart just sank. He was only 25 years old and yet it was his time to go back home with god. Its just hard to fathom that someone as young as him could leave this earth so quick. He was such an incredible example to me and to those around him. He was soft spoken, loving and strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ...among many other things. I can remember sooo many times growing up when he would reach out to my dad or myself and help out with anything. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to know him and to be able to be influenced by his love, example and testimony of Christ. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and to all who knew him and loved him. I know he is in a better place and that death is not the end.

With all that has transpired recently, it has caused me to think about life and how I am living. None of us knows when we will be called back to our Heavenly home. There is no time to waste and so much to be done. It is truly incredible the impact that one person can have on sooo many people. Everyone we meet we can learn from and teach at the same time. There are tons of people that have been or are now in my life that have impacted me so much. I want to be that same type of person. Its the small quiet actions in everyday life that make the biggest difference. Not that the big ones don't have an effect, cuz they do....but, its the smiles, the phone calls or texts, the kindness and love that is expressed in service by our daily deeds that speak as loud as the crash of thunder. I am grateful for those (David Whitney's) in our lives that so willingly serve and express their love through the little deeds of our daily lives. May we all strive to be a  little better and never forget how precious life is.