So its basically been a year from my last blog. I realized I'm pretty good at keeping this thing updated. haha. I have felt that its high time I share with my friends and those who may come across this a few of the things that have occured within this past year.
I was one lost girl last year around this time. I wasn't sure why I moved all the way across the United States - away from family and everything I've known to attend a school where I would know absolutely ZERO people. Well, I was put to work as soon as I got here. I was called to be in the Relief Society Presidency at church in my ward as the 2nd counselor. Boy, that was intimidating and super scary...I had no clue how I was going to be able to serve the girls in my ward when I was struggling with my own identity and spirituality among numerous other things.
My first semester at SVU was one of the hardest semesters I've ever experienced in my college career. But in retrospect, I can honestly say that the Lord most definately had his hand in my life the entire time. I lucked out in having a Bishop (Bishop Walker) that I could relate to and who understood me. That played a huge part in my experience out here. On top of that, I was blessed to have a roommate who was a returned missionary and who was there for me EVERY time I needed a friend. When I came out here, I was struggling with my identity as a daughter of God and it was small, simple tender mercies that helped me along my way (i.e...my roommate, bishop, housemates and family - from the other side of the country).
I eventually decided halfway through last fall semester that I needed to prepare to receive my endowments in the temple. That decision has been one of THE BEST I've EVER made in my life. That truly was what put all the pieces of my life back together. THAT was what helped me see my life in a fresh, new perspective. I met some incredible people fall semester, but I still didn't find where I fit in yet. I had a couple dates with an incredible guy but didn't really think anything of at the time. Spring semester is where he came in. :-)
I had the opportunity to visit my brother and sister in law in Washington over Christmas with the rest of my family as well as attend the Portland, Oregon temple December 27th, 2011 to receive my endowments. That was the major turning point in my life. It was the start of a new beginning for me. I came back for Spring semester revived and ready to face life head on. I was a new woman! I had direction, confidence, and was happier than I'd ever been before. Well, a few weeks into spring semester I saw this guy I'd been on a few dates with from fall semester and he wanted to get together..so, after a while we eventually made that happen. Our first date was a spaghetti date night where we ate dinner with no silverware...yes, I did that and yes, I most definately got down and dirty with my food. haha.
We hit it off...I had started playing lacrosse and he came to one of my games, took me on picnics, walks and we just spent time having fun with eachother. We were total goofs...just like little kids. It was great! We decided to make things official towards the end of February and I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Everything was going SO incredibly well. I made a lot of great memories that I will never forget.
Well, long story short (and this is where the changes we call 'life' come into play), we broke things off at the end of the semester and that is where some of the major lessons in my life have been taught. I was confused, hurt, angry, sad and all sorts of emotions. But, God's tender mercies didn't cease in my life...in fact, at that point...that is where I was carried and lifted until I could walk again (metaphorically speaking). God knows each of us SO well that the changes we experience are given to help us grow, stretch and develop into the kind of individual He knows we are capable of becoming.
I was called to be the Relief Society President for the Summer and yet again...I felt the same way I felt when I was called to the Presidency for the previous fall semester - (how on earth was I going to lead these wonderful women whom I had the chance to serve and help them in their times of trial and growth?) I can testify that the Lord really does qualify those whom He calls - no matter what calling we receive. I felt like Angels were bearing me up. I know they were. With everything that had transpired previously with my dating life...my mind was trying to sort out how to deal with everything. I know the Lord knew me well enough that if He could help me to stay busy serving others and working the summer away, I would be just fine.
Well, thats exactly what happened. In fact, in the midst of the busyness of my summer, I decided to take a summer class. That just added to some of the stress I had been dealing with, but I'm so glad I was busy because through all of the organized chaos of my life...I came to really rely on my Heavenly Father and on Jesus Christ. I came to understand better who I am, what I want, why I do the things I do and I took an opportunity presented to me that would help me to become the BEST me I can be. I'm still participating in that opportunity and words cannot express my gratitude for those tender mercies I've received all summer long. All of these small changes have added up to be EXTRAORDINARY blessings giving me a clearer perception of where I'm headed and what the Lord wants me to be doing. I can honestly say that I'm SO humbled by the chance to experience pain and heartache because of who I am today and who I will be tomorrow and the day after that and so on.
I know that our Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for each one of us and that as we turn to him and humbly seek for His will, we will find it and we will experience the peace and joy that come from serving and following Him. I know that the changes we experience in our life are meant for our growth and benefit and as hard as what they are sometimes, we can make it through (even with a smile on our face). This life is BEAUTIFUL & Not always easy, but as we struggle daily to make it through - WE WILL MAKE IT!!
NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP - in the end, the pain and heartache is worth the struggle. We are being shaped and molded into something more exquisite and beautiful than what we can ever imagine!!!
