Hit me with your best shot-Pat Benatar With ylrics

Soooo, I totally had to post this video tonight. Its awesome! Everytime I hear this song, I feel...empowered. haha.
It makes me feel like I can do anything and that nothing can get me down.
I can get so frustrated when things don't go my way sometimes and I don't always understand people. I almost feel like I just want to throw my hands up in the air. Other times I just wanna be like, "ok, bring your best and lets see what happens". I would say tonight is one of those "I will take you on" nights. What I'm referring to specifically aside from many other things is dating. I get sooo tired of the game. I dont' want to second guess. I don't want to compete. And I definately don't want to be the last resort. If you like me, well....you like me. So, do something about it. If not, thats totally fine with me. Just don't play the game and expect me to be happy and willing to play along...believe me, it won't happen. I can open up and let you in, but if you aren't sure...don't expect me to just throw my heart out there to get trampled on. U know? Why do things have to be so complicated and a pain in my glutes? haha. I've decided I'm just going to focus on me. Why not, right? Life is way to short not to enjoy it and if I'm not dating...well, that just means I have more opportunity to do others things I've always wanted to do. Bring it on...I say Carpe Diem...and "Hit me with your BEST shot." LOL... :)

somedays I really think things would have been better the way they used to be...and then, I realize that life...even though it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to, ends up turning out the way i needed it to

"Somedays I really think things would have been better the way they used to be...and then, I realize that life...even though it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to, ends up turning out the way i needed it to.

Man, life can really throw you some curve balls can't it? I'm at a point in my life where I really need to think about where I'm going and what I'm doing and then DO it. This topic has been something thats constantly on my mind..especially since day one. Its just that everytime I try to make something happen, it doesn't work out and I'm back to the drawing board. Sometimes I feel like I just run into wall after wall after wall. Sometimes I've wanted to give up and other times I've been soo determined.

I've always been a more independant individual than anything else. I get so determined that my life is going to happen a certain way and then when it doesn't it just hits me hard. When I look back and reflect on things, I come to realize that its a darn good thing certain things happened the way they did. I realize that even though it wasn't what I wanted, it was definately what I needed. Its a vicious cycle...haha. You would think that I'd just learn to let go and let God take the lead. One day I will get it.

I've realized I get the most frustrated when things seem to be going smoothly and when I'm so focused on other things that all of a sudden something happens in the middle and totally "rocks the boat". I then try to roll with that new thing and it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to and then I just get more frustrated and confused and think that things were better the way they were before. haha...

I have a hard time being patient with things...not a quality that I fully possess yet. I suppose thats why this "vicious cycle" keeps happening. lol. I just wish I understood why certain things happen the way they do and why they happen. Those are probably answers I won't receive until I see God face to face. haha. But, I know that theres a reason for everything and I just have to keep an open mind and realize who really is in control and just understand that His plan is perfect. One day, I will have all the answers and its gonna be awesome!!!

A few thoughts...

Life...that one word has a HUGE meaning to it. Its funny how things just seem to happen at random. Every day is a new beginning and I find that I'm always surprised by one thing or another. A few weeks ago I was pleasantly surprised to make a new friend. I had no idea how much of an impact that this individual would have on my life. But, even though its been a few weeks I can already say that I'm so blessed and truly grateful for this random meeting. We have become very close friends and I have had ample opportunity to re-evaluate who I am and the things I desire most in this life because of his influence. We've had long discussions about a lot of things...dating, friendships, self-esteem, service...just to name a few.
One thing I can say is that through all of our different discussions I have come to know even more than before who I am and what I want from life. I have my flaws but I am learning to embrace them and share them with others. Why should we be afraid of what we have to offer to the world (good and bad)? We are each unique individuals with such special talents and abilities and quirks. Those things are what make this world a wonderful place to live in and be a part of. Each of us has a plan and a purpose. We each deserve a chance to be heard, seen and loved. No one individual is better than the other or less than the other. I wish we all could recognize that about ourselves and others.
With all the imperfection that we are surrounded by, the potential we carry outweighs that by far. If we can learn to place our full trust in our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ, we can one day become perfect and reach our full potential with their help. We can't do it alone. It takes practice and a willingness to fail and get hurt. But, we can't be afraid...we can't look back and let our failures or our heartaches or misdeeds shape our future. Everyday is a NEW beginning. Its exciting and wonderful and full of surprises! We can't compare ourselves to others or judge others. When we do that we lose sight of whats most important. God loves us completely. Each of us is a divine son or daughter of Him. We should love another as He loves us. None of us needs one more person judging or criticizing or tearing us down. What we all need is to be uplifted and loved and recognized as divine. As we do that our confidence will build in HIM and ourselves and we will no longer be afraid. I don't know if any of this is making sense, but I just have a million thoughts and I just think that we each have so much to offer that we can't let our circumstances or fear hold us back from being able to do those GREAT things we are capable of doing. I know that as we place our trust in HIM anything is possible!