Another post...finally! haha

Ohhh boy, this whole posting more often than not on my blog isn't quite working out as planned. haha. Life is soooo good right now, I mean REALLY good! I've not ever been this happy in a very long time. What can I say....God has been good to me! My life is crazy busy at this point, but I think thats why I'm just smiling all the time. I work two jobs and I have 2 church callings and just grown up responsibilities....theres not enough time in the day to get everything done and yet, it doesn't bother me one bit. I think a large part of it is due to the fact that I absolutely love, Love, LOVE my 2nd job....I work at a gym and I get to work-out for free after my shifts. How cool is that? Besides, I'm doing the things I need to and should be doing and that makes such a big difference in my days. I have some of the most AMAZING friends in theee world and well, everything just seems to be falling into place. Its hard to explain but theres just something different in the air thats leading me to believe really good things lay just ahead. Maybe I'll have my one BIG dream come true...(no, I can't tell you! haha, what fun would that be? :p) But, whatever it is...I plan on enjoying every minute of this happy goodness that's been making life so enjoyable.
I read a friends blog and she was talking about her birthday and how its difficult being 29 and not married. I'm not 29 yet, but I can totally relate to her. You just never know how life is going to turn out for you. Some days it gets pretty difficult because the one thing you want you haven't had the opportunity to experience yet and its just a huge blow to your self-esteem, confidence and other things. You start questioning everything. But, then after you've had your time to think things through you begin to realize the blessings you've been given with the way your life has turned out thus far. Things start to get easier and life goes on. During those tough times I can only wish I had a fairy God-mother that could wave her magic wand and make things all better. However, I've realized that I have something far more substantial and real. Our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the one that can and will make it better. We may not have things turn out the way we want but in the end we look back and realize that  He's been the one carrying the majority of our hardships for us. He is so incredible and amazing and I love Him so much!
I think thats really the main reason I'm sooo happy. I've invited Him into my life and because of that I've been able to walk with confidence and a BIG smile on my face. :) I don't know if this is making any sense....I'm probably rambling...I tend to do that..haha, but I just don't know how to express the changes that have been occuring lately. Life is awesome and I know that whatever comes next...it's going to be fantastic!!!

Random Thoughts....

My thoughts are going a million miles a minute. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but I've just got to get it out. So, I went out last night with a friend to an ice skating/dance party put on for a bunch of singles. It was actually pretty fun. We got to talking about tons of stuff on the way there. One of the things we conversed about was how different people are.
I expressed some of my insecurities (we all have them) and she said something that really caused me to respect her sooo much more. She basically said we are who we are and asked why she should let others give or take away her happiness? Now, mind you...this is NOT the first time I have heard something similar about not letting others determine how I act or who I am. This meant a lot more to me because of who she is. She is not someone who the world considers 'popular', 'normal', 'skinny', etc.... So, she has struggled a lot with self-esteem and yet she is FEARLESS and always happy! She told me that she just does her thing and focuses on what she wants and what makes her love and enjoy life and doesn't let anything get in her way. It was another one of those 'a-ha!' moments.
So, we got to the venue and skated for a while...met a few people and then she was the first of us to go onto the dance floor and SHINE! It took me a while to work up the courage to go out and dance. My mind started racing and filled with 'oh those people can dance...who i am to go and dance, i don't have any moves', and 'what if they judge me', just tons of things to try and stop me from having fun. Well, sadly it took me watching my friend have the time of her life dancing by herself doing her own thing for me to realize all those things I was thinking doesn't really matter. So, I went out of my comfort zone and started jamming to the music. Once I got out there I realized not everyone knew everyone and they were just trying to have fun. I ended up meeting some really cool people and to think if I had not gone what I would have missed out on. I'm so grateful for my friend and the courage she has to SHINE even if others don't think she is 'normal'....she is awesome and an incredible example to all. If only more people could be just like her, we'd all be in a better place.

Andy Grammer - Keep Your Head Up

A bitter sweet day...

Wow....I have so much to say and am not really sure how to say it. Tonight I found out that a friend of mine (David Whitney) passed away in a plane crash down in Payson. I knew him from High School and Seminary and he and his father were my dad's hometeachers back home in Oregon. When I heard he died and then saw the news story on tv, my heart just sank. He was only 25 years old and yet it was his time to go back home with god. Its just hard to fathom that someone as young as him could leave this earth so quick. He was such an incredible example to me and to those around him. He was soft spoken, loving and strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ...among many other things. I can remember sooo many times growing up when he would reach out to my dad or myself and help out with anything. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to know him and to be able to be influenced by his love, example and testimony of Christ. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and to all who knew him and loved him. I know he is in a better place and that death is not the end.

With all that has transpired recently, it has caused me to think about life and how I am living. None of us knows when we will be called back to our Heavenly home. There is no time to waste and so much to be done. It is truly incredible the impact that one person can have on sooo many people. Everyone we meet we can learn from and teach at the same time. There are tons of people that have been or are now in my life that have impacted me so much. I want to be that same type of person. Its the small quiet actions in everyday life that make the biggest difference. Not that the big ones don't have an effect, cuz they do....but, its the smiles, the phone calls or texts, the kindness and love that is expressed in service by our daily deeds that speak as loud as the crash of thunder. I am grateful for those (David Whitney's) in our lives that so willingly serve and express their love through the little deeds of our daily lives. May we all strive to be a  little better and never forget how precious life is.

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” ~Brian Tracy

Ok, so I just have to say I don't like to follow the crowd and do the same thing others are doing, but I feel that I can make an exception in this instance. I have soooo many amazing and inspirational friends that have all posted either on their facebook status or blogs everyday something that they are grateful for. This has caused me to reflect a little harder and a little longer on things that I'm grateful for.

I've always been a person who is BIG on the little things  - its the small and simple things that bring about GREAT things. I think gratitude is one of those "small and simple" things. I believe theres only 2 ways in which we can respond to life....We can either be grateful or we can not. We can be happy or we can be miserable. I believe that gratitude is what helps us become happy. It's what motivates us to keep going forward.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. "


On that note....here's a few of the things I'm grateful for:

• Random guys hitting on me over the phone. (just ask and i'll tell you the story)
• Driving along and seeing other people in their cars dancing or singing loudly to their music.
• Funny stories
• Service (giving/receiving)
• New friendships/Old friendships
• Inside jokes
• Opposition (there wouldn't be any good without the bad)
• Patience (that others have with me)
• Movie marathon's with friends
• My dad's strength, example and love.
• Cheesy jokes.

The list could go on....but, u get the picture. Life is so tender and incredible. Why go through it and be miserable? Take chances, smile, LIVE! "No Regrets".....thats the motto of a good friend of mine on his mission. When we are grateful, we express that in the way we live...so why not be happy and have an attitude of gratitude?!

Favorite Quotes

I love quotes....so, I thought it would be fun to share a few I enjoy.

1. "Trouble is part of your life. If you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."
2. “It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”
   
3. "Whenever we use another person's reactions towards us as the sole measuring for our own self-worth, we climb aboard a roller coaster with an endless track of ups and downs."
4. "The Wrong one is the Right one to lead you to the BEST one!"
5. "Don't always go for looks; they can deceive. Don't always go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile
6. "Beauty from Within" ~Audrey Hepburn "For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find them at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years."
   
   
7. "I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
   
   — Marjorie Pay Hinckley
   
   
8. I am STRONG because I am weak.
   I am beautiful because I know my flaws.
   I am a [lover] because I'm a fighter.
   I am fearless because I have been afraid.
   I am WISE because I have been foolish.
   I can {laugh} because I've known sadness.
9. Take Time:
   
   
   Take time to think-
   It is the source of all power.
   
   Take time to read-
   It is the fountain of wisdom.
   
   Take time to play-
   It is the source of perpetual youth.
   
   Take time to be quiet-
   It is the opportunity to seek God.
   
   Take time to be aware-
   It is the opportunity to help others.
   
   Take time to love and be loved-
   It is God’s greatest gift.
   
   Take time to laugh-
   It is the music of the soul.
   
   Take time to be friendly-
   It is the road to happiness.
   
   Take time to dream-
   It is what the future is made of.
   
   Take time to pray-
   It is the greatest power on earth.
   
   Take time to give-
   It is too short a day to be selfish.
   
   Take time to work-
   It is the price of success.
   
   There is a time for everything.
   
   
   
   
   
   

No Arms No Legs No Worries

Man, life can be really hard some days. In fact, there are a lot more difficult times than easy ones. I just had one of "those" days recently. I've been searching for a full-time job for quite a while and I just had another interview. I thought things were looking up...based on the phone conversation beforehand, it seemed as though this was it! This job seemed perfect. It would allow me to work swing shift so I can still attend school during the day...which is totally ideal because i'm completely against the working 9-5 and then going to night school thing. Well, after having explained my situation to this company and taking a look at the options with them, it turned out that I was going to need to continue in my search for the perfect job. I was really bummed. I know this seems like such a "minor" thing, but when you've got bills to pay and a goal to get back out on your own, this roadblock almost feels like the end of the world...especially when you've been searching and receiving a big fat 0 with results.
Well, I don't know about you, but when it rains....it POURS! I don't want this to be some sob story or a "pity me" party....but, I need to give you a bit of background in order for you to understand atleast just a piece of how I feel and to get a glimpse of where I'm coming from. After reading this, you may just roll your eyes and think I'm retarded for feeling the way I do....but, these are my trials and some of MY weaknesses...not yours! haha.
Anyways...So, life hasn't completely turned out the way I saw it all happening in my mind. In fact, it never really has. God loves surprising me! ha. But, about a year ago I decided I wanted to start going back to school to finish a degree and what that was going to be in. That was HUGE for me. I've had sooo many friends take off on missions or decide to join the bandwagon and get married, or move away or just start travelling, that I felt left behind.....I almost felt like I was a big bum with no direction waving at everyone else as they passed by. So, I went to school Spring semester and surprisingly passed most of my classes. That was awesome. But, summer came and I had no job which eventually meant...NO INCOME.....At the beginning I thought, "Hey, no big deal...I've always been able to get a job...piece of cake!" Well, thats when I got a big fat slap in my face. Nothing was happening. I applied, sent out resumes, searched for hours online and emailed resumes/applications, I even asked my friends about any job openings they may had known of....well, out of all that i ended up having one interview. At the time, it seemed promising, but again...no success. What the heck was going on?! Well, reality was certainly sinking in and I was stressing and worrying. I started asking, "Why me? Whats the point of all of this?" Then I started doubting myself...everything about me. Funny how we do that when something doesn't always go the way we had thought or planned. haha.
Well, since then I've had my moments of up and my moments of down. Luckily when fall 2010 came along, I was offered a position back where I was working at before summer began. That was a total blessing....I also had an amazing opportunity to travel to 5 different countries for 2 1/2 weeks in October. Sooo cool. But, lifes been a total rollercoaster ride and when I start to come down to the bottom and then look up....I get overwhelmed sometimes and begin wondering if what I'm doing or where I'm going is the right way. I then start feeling inadequate when I run into a bump in the road or when I have to take a different route than what I had planned...I start questioning if I really know what I'm doing and if what I'm doing is going to get me where I want to be. Sometimes, I even wonder if I know where I want to be....and somedays I just want to be rescued.
I've realized a few things tho through all of my ups and downs and...maybe these lessons haven't completely sunk in, because sometimes, it feels as though I'm having to repeat a few now and again...haha. But, heres what I've learned...

• Life isn't always going to turn out the way we want or expect it to.
• There's never a day that is going to be 100% perfect.
• When life gets tough, giving up is NOT the answer.
• Attitude is Altitude.
• Learning is what happens in the middle of difficulty.
• Laughter is the BEST medicine.
• It takes faith to keep going, even when you have no idea where its leading you.
• Comparing yourself to others isn't always the best motivator.
• Taking the shortcut can make things harder instead of easier.
• Doing your best IS enough.
• Smiling makes the day brighter.
• Gratitude helps us see clearer.
• Weaknesses are but strengths waiting to be found.
• Beauty comes from the inside.
• God loves us and blesses us. He knows what we need more than what we think we need.

I have not yet mastered any of these, (its a constant process) but I know they are true principles. I found this video months ago and downloaded it to my Ipod. I found it again today and it reminded me that life is a blessing and that as long as we are doing our best and never giving up, we can achieve the impossible and we will find happiness along the way. Nick Vuijicic is one of my personal heroes....because of his amazing example. If he can do it, then I can too...and so can you. :) I'm still looking for a full-time job to coincide with school but, I'm not giving up. I can't afford to...its like that saying you always hear...~Anything worthwhile is worth the hard work and effort.~ I figure if it doesn't work out the way I want it to, something else will and it will be BETTER than I ever imagined.  :)

Sisters

Ok...there definately was a reason for this awesome video to be posted. The other day I was in the kitchen talking to my cute 13 year old sister, Piper. She stopped me mid phrase of whatever we were talking about and said, "Where in the world have you been lately? I've missed you lots!" She then proceeded to come and give me a BIG hug and then stated, "I could stay like this all day!"
Those 2 simple gestures made me feel like a million dollars. All I could do to keep from crying was to just hug her back and tell her how lucky I am to have her in my life.

Sisters really are great aren't they? They know when we are sad, or angry, they know how to make us laugh, they listen to us and protect us, they know what buttons to push, they love us despite our imperfections and they help us to have a better view of life. In fact, I found this incredible quote that explains sisters perfectly.
SISTER- She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your... personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, shes the reason you wish you were an only child.

I'm grateful for my sisters! They are AMAZING women and have taught me so much. Each of them brings something incredible into my life. Jen has such a great outlook on life and never gives up. Piper loves others and is always working to be better. Noelle is full of knowledge and is always willing to lend a helping hand wherever. We have so much fun together goofing off and dancing to loud music in the house or just playing video games on the wii or playstation. We love eachother regardless of what goes and and I couldn't ask for more.

Sooo the reason I posted this video is because i think it has a great message about sisters and its hilarious!!! The song kept popping into my head so i was way happy when i found it...it comes from one of my favorite movies of all time...WHITE CHRISTMAS. I hope we all can learn to be grateful for our loved ones....they add spice and pizazz and a whole new dimension into our everyday lives. Life is amazing and we are all truly blessed to have such wonderful people be apart of it.

Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul

I've been thinking a lot lately. Especially about music and the impact it has had on my life. There's something about it thats well, magical. I say magical because for each one of us it speaks deep down to our souls. Not all music is the same and the impact it has can influence us for good or bad. I find that I have a HUGE musical selection on my ipod. What I listen to is very dependant on my mood. Sometimes I just want to listen to songs that I can relate to whether it be about dating, dreaming, relationships, family, the future/past, school, work, mistakes i've made, goals i have, etc. Sometimes I just want something angry that will help me to just let my anger out without saying something hurtful to those I care about...or just something that will get me pumped up to workout at the gym. Other times I may just want something uplifting that helps me keep things in perspective. But, no matter what I listen to, it impacts me in one way or another.  It amazes me how much better or worst I feel after what I listen to. I'm grateful for music and good music at that. I was looking back at a couple of songs that I wrote and I hope they can be as inspirational for you as others have been for me. They are very near and dear to my heart. Some say that "music is the universal language of mankind... and ...that it expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." On that note, enjoy these:

"Gods Gift"

Vs 1:
You're the gift God sent
An answer to prayer
When things get tough, you're constantly there.
You're the strength I need, to keep me strong,
The light in my life to keep movin' on.

Vs 2:
Memories made will forever last
The times we shared were a blast
You lift my heart up to the sky,
Spread my wings so I can fly
And in my heart you'll always be,
A friend for time & eternity.

Chorus:
God knows our needs
He hears out plea
Thats why you were sent to me
You're the angel from above
Who opened my heart to your love.

*This next song doesn't have a name yet.*
Vs 1:
They tell me I'm so amazing
That they just can't see
What it is those other guys
Just don't like in me.

Vs 2:
They say I should be married
Oh, "You're quite the catch"
But if thats true, all they say
Why is it I can't seem to find my match?

Vs 3:
Oh he's out there somewhere
Across the deep blue sea
Wondering whats with all those other girls
And why he can't find me.

Vs 4:
I know we'll be together someday
For time and all eternity
But until that day comes
I will wait patiently

Vs 5:
My love keeps growing deeper
The longer we are apart.
I'll do my best & forget the rest,
For its you who has my heart.

Vs 6:
Oh I love you dearly,
Right now you may not see,
But our life will be full of bliss
When God deems us ready to be.

Yes our life will be full of bliss, when God deems us ready to be.

The Newest Blogger on the Block...

Its official. I've decided to start updating my blog more than once a year. This, in my mind makes me the newest blogger on the block. But, where to begin? I'm not even sure what I want to blog about. haha. All I know is that a lot of others seem to put whatever they want on here really. Maybe I'll use this as my ground for speaking openly and for once not caring what others seem to think. We do that a lot dont' we? All of us. We all seem to care in one way or another about what and how others think of and see us as. Why do we do that? Why does it matter? Are we so egotistical that we really need that boost of self confidence just so we can have a good day or even a bad day for that matter based on a harsh, thoughtless comment from someone who doesn't even know how to control their emotions other than taking it out on us? Why is it the human race is so caught up in validation? I myself am not excluded from the group. Maybe its a matter of not knowing/understanding who we are. Or maybe....well, who knows? I find myself quite often getting upset, hurt, confused, sad, happy, giddy, etc...all because "so and so" didn't invite me to this or said some mean thing about 'that', or finally gave me the compliment that I worked so hard to get.
People are interesting. We all have such unique personalities. Thats what makes life so completely enjoyable. If we were all the same, ugh! what a bore we would be. But, still the question remains...why do we thrive on validation? We all have insecurities. I've not met one individual that can prove me wrong. We all strive to do whats best and yet, no one individual has all the right answers. Everyone has their own opinion. Each individual has found or is searching for "their own truth". That only comes from trial and error, listening and observing others, and sooo many other things. So, I suppose that in a sense we need validation to help us along in our journey, but that brings up another question...Who's validation should we be striving for? I believe its God's. He created us in His image and He has given us the resources to be able to make it through this life. But, why do we need to make it through this life? Some believe we just die and thats the end. Some don't even believe in God. Others believe in a plethora of different things.
Well, since this is my blog...I'm going to tell you what I believe. You can take it however you want. My goal in writing this is to bear testimony of Jesus Christ and God the Father and of His plan for us. I believe God had a plan for all of us long before we came to this earth. We are His children. I believe that we dwelt with God the Father and His son and that they knew all of us individually and personally before we came here. I believe that one day after we have had the opportunity to experience mortality here, we will have the opportunity to live with them again. I believe that as we diligently strive to obey God's commandments and come to know Him and His son, Jesus Christ, we will feel of their love more fully and desire to be with them again. I know that by obeying God's laws and in staying true to the covenants we make with Him, we are blessed. I know that part of God's plan included having His son, Jesus Christ come to the earth to atone for us. He provided the way for every individual to dwell with God. As we humble ourselves and seek to understand His sacrifice and love for us, we will have the strength to continue standing for what is right and good and true and obtain a testimony of His divinity. I know God loves ALL. I know He lives! I know that as we look to Him in all we think, say and do, we will not be lead in the wrong direction. I have been blessed to find Him in my life and to feel of His love. It is as real as the sun at noon day. His is the only validation we need. God is infinite and eternal and knows what is best for His children. If we follow Him, we will be able to know of His plan for us and we will be able to make it through this life and eventually be able to dwell with Him again.